The Best View of Saint Meinrad

I was asked by the Saint Meinrad Development Office to speak at the Louisville/New Albany Regional Benefactors’ Brunch. The brunch was held at the elegant Fountain Room of the Galt House in Louisville KY for seventy or so benefactors of Saint Meinrad. Among those in attendance were the Most Rev. Thomas C. Kelly, OP, DD, Archbishop of Louisville (who was recently made an Honorary Alumnus of the School of Theology), and the Right Rev. Bonaventure Knaebel, OSB, Retired Archabbot of Saint Meinrad (who in fact is a native of New Albany). What follows is the text of what I shared today to the benefactors about the role Saint Meinrad has played in my discernment and preparation for the Priesthood.

An older monk was once heard saying at the end of a long day, “The best view of Saint Meinrad is from a rearview mirror.” I suppose many of us at Saint Meinrad have found ourselves in the shoes of that anonymous monk at one time or another during our stay on the Holy Hill. Some perhaps on a weary day. Others at the end of a frustrating week of work. Most seminarians feel that way during Finals. I felt that way in my first year of seminary.

I had a difficult first year at Saint Meinrad: half of the time I was dreadfully homesick. I missed my family who were all back in the Philippines, on the other side of the globe. I missed teaching Literature in the university. I missed eating Filipino food and speaking in my own native tongue. So, I kept praying to God: “Lord, You told the rich young man in the Gospel to sell all his possessions and then follow You. He turned his back on You but I didn’t. I left my home, my family, my job, because I firmly believed You were calling me to be a priest in the mission diocese of Lexington, to serve especially the growing Filipino community there. You promised that I would be rewarded a hundredfold, yet here I am in the middle of Nowhere, Indiana, in the land of bratwursts and sauerkraut, where the bells wake every monk, seminarian, and cattle at 5:15 in the morning. Lord Jesus, where is the love?”

Yes, I was homesick. But most of all, I was frustrated with how my vocation story was unfolding. I was frustrated because I came to Saint Meinrad with my own vision of seminary life, with my own program of formation for the priesthood. I thought I knew better. I thought I had it all figured out. I thought they should have taken one look at me and then called Bishop Williams in and had him lay his hands on my head and ordain me right then and there. I was wrong.

I was wrong in thinking that conversion ended the day I entered seminary. I was wrong in thinking that the giving up of possessions ended when I arrived in Lexington. I was wrong in thinking that my vision of seminary life and my own program of formation were better than the Church’s vision and the Church’s program of formation. I was wrong in thinking that fervor and enthusiasm could take the place of formation.

In that difficult first year of seminary, Fr. Kurt Stasiak, OSB, spoke to our class on a verse from St. Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians. The verse is from 2 Cor 4:7, and it goes: “But we hold this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us.” That short verse put everything in my life into perspective: it reminded me why I am in seminary (to be formed into this earthen vessel), what my call is (to be a herald of a Gospel that is not my own), and whom I am serving (God and God alone).

Four years have passed since I heard that verse in a new and profound way. Four years of having his earthen vessel formed and re-formed by Saint Meinrad, of having the arrogance of my youth humbled by the constant witness of the monks to the Gospel of Christ. Four years of being in seminary and being taught everyday by everyone in Saint Meinrad—monks, faculty, coworkers, and brother-seminarians—that the call to the Priesthood is already in itself Christ’s promised hundredfold return. Four years of continually giving up my earthly possessions to finally realize that there is but only one possession in the world worth keeping: our faith in Christ. Four years of missing out on parties and dates to finally realize that there is but one feast worth partaking: the Eucharist. Four years of living apart from my family to finally realize that there is but one family worth belonging to: the Church. Four years of being in constant prayer to finally realize that there is but one life worth living: life in the Spirit.

Four years have come and gone and I am now in my final year in seminary. Next May, when, God willing, Bishop Gainer will call me to the Order of the Priesthood, I will pack my bags and drive down that Holy Hill and I will see on my rearview mirror the best view of Saint Meinrad. That view I will see at the end of a worthwhile formation by Saint Meinrad, and it will help me to look back at the joys and sorrows, struggles and growth that Saint Meinrad has helped me through to be, God willing, a good priest, but more so to be a better Catholic and to be a better human being.